How Bullying impacts a child
If you are concerned about your child being bullied, this blog may include triggering content
Bullying affects children in many ways and can have a devastating impact on their lives. It's not just a matter of a few harsh words or a mean joke - it can leave a lasting imprint on their self-worth, mental health, and ability to thrive in all areas of life.
As a parent or caregiver, seeing a young person bullied can be truly heartbreaking, especially as all we want is for our children to be happy and content. But many adults often struggle to understand just how much bullying can impact a child.
While they understand that bullying is significant, it can be a challenge to realise the consequences that bullying can have on a child and this lack of understanding is often referred to as the “empathy gap”. Working to close this empathy gap is one of the best ways to improve bullying policies and prevent bullying.
In fact, efforts to advocate on behalf of victims will not be effective unless people truly comprehend how painful and traumatic bullying can be.
In this blog, I share my advice on the effects that bullying can have and how you can help them recover.
Social and Emotional Impact
Young people who are bullied may experience a range of overwhelming emotions such as anger, loneliness, and helplessness. They may also struggle to make friends and maintain healthy relationships.
One reason for this is due to the impact it has on their self-esteem. The constant bullying and negative comments they receive from bullying can lead them to believe the worst about themselves and this can knock their self-worth and belief.
These feelings can lead to coping mechanisms such as school avoidance, as well as an increased risk of developing depression.
Without intervention, bullied children can become trapped in a cycle of “learned helplessness”, feeling powerless to change the situation and giving up entirely.
As they grow into adulthood, the effects of bullying can linger. It can impact their ability to form healthy relationships, trust others, and engage in social interactions. They may struggle with self-doubt and a distorted sense of self-worth. In some cases, they may even start to believe the lies that they were told by their bullies, leading to self-blame and a distorted perception of their own experiences.
Impact on mental health
For children who are being bullied, it can feel like the weight of the world is on their shoulders. It may cause their confidence to become knocked down and cause feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
The emotional toll of bullying can be overwhelming. Young people may develop mental health problems, making it harder to sleep or eat. If a child is suffering, they may feel too self-conscious or embarrassed to attend social situations and interact with others and this can cause many issues.
Children who are bullied are more likely to skip school and this can cause their academic achievements to suffer. If you notice this happening, it’s important to speak to their school. It doesn’t matter whether the bullying is happening in school, outside, or online. All schools have a responsibility to protect their pupils from bullying.
Even after the bullying has stopped, its effects can linger. Many bullied children find it hard to feel safe or confident in anything they do. They may give up on activities they once enjoyed, isolating themselves from friends and family. Over time, this can lead to a loss of self-identity and a sense of hopelessness about the future.
The impact on their physical health
Bullying doesn't just cause mental health issues; it places the body under physical stress too. Not only do the students who are victimised potentially suffer physical injuries from the act of bullying itself, but they may also experience physical health difficulties that endure long after the bullying has subsided. Those who bully may also experience physical health problems.
Victims of bullying may have little or no appetite, have issues with their sleep and feel constantly stressed out which can have an impact on their overall health.
Long-Term Effects and Healing
Research has shown that the impact of bullying can last well into adulthood. The experiences that young people have growing up help mould them into the adults they later become, so it's not surprising that people who experience bullying in their lives struggle in adulthood.
How children can build resilience
Bullying can have a major impact on a child's life. Recovering may be challenging and the adverse effects of bullying may last long after the bullying has stopped. If bullying is not addressed straight away, it can cause your child to develop depression and mental health issues later in life. However, there are steps you can take to help your child recover and move forward.
One critical step is to focus on building your child's self-esteem. It's essential to help your child understand that they are not defined by the bullying they experienced. Instead, help them focus on their future goals and the lessons they learned from the experience. Encouraging your child to focus on their academic achievements and personal goals can help them regain their confidence and sense of purpose.
Finding closure is also important. It may be counter-intuitive but encouraging your child to forgive the bully can be a powerful step in letting go of the pain and moving forward. Remind your child that seeking revenge will not make them feel better in the long run. Instead, they can focus on what they can influence in their life and let go of the things they can't control or change.
Finally, it's important to acknowledge what your child went through and to be there to support them as they heal. Be patient and understanding as they work through their emotions and let them know that they are not alone. With time and support, your child can recover from the effects of bullying and go on to live a happy, fulfilling life.
Skills that can prevent bullying
Although there’s no one skill that can guarantee a bully-free childhood for your child, we can equip them with the tools to build a protective shield against it. For example, children with strong self-esteem, assertiveness and social skills are less likely to become targets for bullies as they stand up for themselves.
It’s important for children to know that they can walk away from negative behaviour and cut ties with bullies, regardless of how unusual it may feel. Children grow from learning how to navigate conflict, which includes managing their responses to negative behaviour. This could be something like brushing comments off with a laugh or walking away altogether. By not giving the bully a reaction, the child has more of an influence.
Children who are supported and encouraged to build resilience and perseverance can be helped to handle bullying. as difficult as it may sound, staying positive and not dwelling on the negative can also make a huge difference in how a child copes with being bullied.
How parents can help
It can be tough to know how to handle it when your child is being bullied. But don’t worry. The first step is to listen to your child and empathise with what they’re going through. Remember, it takes courage for them to talk about it, so let them know that you really admire their bravery.
It’s important to believe your child and remain supportive throughout. One great way to handle it is by brainstorming with your child about ways to handle the situation together. But be mindful to not ‘fix’ it altogether, instead, focus on empowering them and encouraging them to take positive action.
As tempting as it can be, avoid comments like ‘toughen up’ or ‘don’t be silly’. Instead, show your support and let them know they’re not alone. Remember, bullying is a big deal regardless of your opinion or experience with it so let’s make sure we’re there for our kids and help them to navigate this situation!
If your child is experiencing bullying, helpful support include: